Barbara's Away Game
6/26/2012
I am gone…
Inner Turmoil
There are two most beautiful places in the world.
Namely THERE and HERE! I come from THERE, I am HERE and I wanna be THERE.
Actually pretty simple!
But...It is HERE so beautiful that I don’t wanna leave and it is THERE so beautiful that I don’t wanna stay...
Kristina, thank you for the inspiration!
Miri, thank you for: So much Magnificence!
von Miten & Deva Premal
(You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG-YE8IiV5U)
6/28/2012
I am gone…
Summer Vacation
The valley is empty. Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, Lake Tahoe, Hawaii, Yellowstone National Park, San Diego and lots of other places give variety and recreation to the local residents.
Also my readers make vacation. The immoral counter on the left side of this page, which shows unreliable where, when and how much are reading, displays complete new places on the world map. Greetings to Mililani, Hawaii, to Hennef in Germany and Kiskunfélegyháza in Hungary (I’m a little bit curious who was reading there. Feel free and send a postcard in the guestbook or per e-mail) Greetings also to all the other readers anywhere else, to whom I know and especially to whom I don’t know.
Well, we wanted to make vacation together with our friends from Berlin. Moni already booked the flights after our vacation last year, because they liked it here so much. We thought we make a road trip similar to last year. But only the parents and the youngest: Moni, Oli, Nobbi, Jonathan, Jakob and me. Just six people, we fit in one car.
Moni dreamed loudly to see Death Valley once in her life. I had concerns to do this in summer with temperatures more than 40ºC/ 104ºF; it’s not species appropriate, not for the dogs and even for us humans. I live here and I can do it in spring or in winter. I thought about to let them fly with Nobbi and I stay with the dogs and the kids at home. It was not a discussion, just simple and crude thoughts. As we were in Berlin around New Years Eve we had better stuff to do as to discuss the summer vacation. I don’t know how all the other guys do that, planning and booking months in advance.
My experience is always that plans are made to be canceled. So I don’t try hard with making plans anymore.
Good so that we didn’t invest much energy in planning our vacation together. Moni came with Jakob and Daniel alone, because Oli had important work commitments in Berlin. He came 6 days later, unfortunately was Nobbi already gone, out of same reasons. He had to travel to Europe. Business! He will come not until next Tuesday.
As we brought Nobbi to the airport we stopped in Half Moon Bay. I took the chance to make a vacation video. Even if we don’t make weeklong vacation together it should at least look like that.
The Own Man and the Sea, to the song from the Fantastische Vier, Tag am Meer (Day at the Sea)...It wasn’t a day it was just an hour. You have to know how to use the valuable time.
All Movies, even SKYHAWK II The Movie, you find on an own movie-page in the side bar on the left: Column’s Theatre-Kolumnenkino
Moni and I had a couple of unhurried days, today we watched with Oli the disaster like semi final of the Euro 2012, I don’t want to talk about that and after that Moni and Oli took one of our cars and began their trip to the south. Hwy No 1 down to LA and back with a short view in the desert, Joshua Tree and Sequoia National Park.
I wish them a nice road trip, I am happy to stay here and when Nobbi is back next week, we can still go camping somewhere in the wilderness.
Vacation, I need a vacation, not from work, not from home, not from anything; just with my own man!
7/3/2012
I am gone…
Columnist’s note: This column I dedicate to Katrin. Even if nothing happened on Sunday, she would have got one.
I’m absolutely sorry that your last day in America walked so lopsidedly. Katrin was OK with it that I write about it, but I try hard. Well, I’m not a yellow press reporter.
As we say goodbye yesterday the entire dither from Sunday was suddenly gone. I fiddle more with your leaving, with the situation that you will start the exciting adult life in Germany ...that your everyday life in California has ended ...that you and you guys will go your own way, than with the damaged car in front of our house.
You are a very special person; you’re smiling even when you are sad. The bad side on travelling is saying goodbye.
Katrin, I wish you with all my heart a great vacation in Ireland that all your wishes about studying in Germany wherever you want come true and a terrific new start in Germany.
Crash II
The titles start repeating themselves; we are almost two years here. Movies with Roman numerals behind are often top sellers. The title remains, I won’t change it to “dear BMW” or “keep right”. “Crash” was a German Column written in the time I didn’t translate them. Back then I had a little accident, nothing happened it was just a loud “woooommms”. Another car touched my back on a red light because I was pretty careful turning right. Nothing on our cars was damaged.
This time it was different. What a luck nobody was physically hurt. I don’t want to tell the entire story just this:
It was Katrin’s last day in California. In the meantime she is in Germany, prepares her trip through Ireland and hopes that she get’s a place to study at the University of Feiburg/ Germany. On her way to our home, in the very last curve, sadly the blind one as well, it made wooommmms!
The cars are damaged, the drivers physically not hurt.
I don’t want to write more...I made a movie. Maybe the happy pictures between the towing scenes cheer the reality a little bit up. There were much more good times than bad times in beautiful California.
(Thank Simon for the air photos)
Good bye Katrin, keep smiling-it’s so beautiful!
7/13/2012
I am gone…
Deep
Deep! Deep, in depht, dark, strong, mighty, profundity, vehement, abysm, profound, bottomless, hearty,... deep!
What a great word! So many meanings. Even deep!
Deep friendship!
In the last months I asked me again and again why I am not able to enjoy entirely my luck to be here.
I know the answer: missing deepness!
Deepness! Ardor, depth, darkness, profundity!
Oli and Moni were here. Deep friendship, deep relationship, deepness!
Long lasting friendship you don’t have to discuss.
Although or maybe even because our vacation were different as planned. The short time we had together has to hold for a long time.
Take a deep breath and say good-bye.
Deep sadness and deep happiness are acting in balance. Imbalance could result deep depression. I’ll try to keep the balance.
we hiked beneath deep clouds
we stood in front of the blue deepness
we were deeply impressed and deeply inspired
Deep Blue
Don’t look just on the surface there’s maybe more than you can see at the first blush.
7/18/2012
I am gone…
Amazing Dry Cleaning
It’s finally time to tell the dry-cleaning-story. Almost two years ago I already wanted, well I didn’t.
I have to reach back a little bit to the very beginning of our story here in America. Back in the time when I knew nobody and no matter what routine had to be done it became always an act of state.
One of these days Nobbi’s suit needed a cleaning.
At home in Aachen that wasn’t a problem. Next to my supermarket was a dry cleaner’s with friendly employees, it smelled always typically, they said friendly hello, but never more. If you forgot or lost your receipt you had a serious problem. What a luck I never lost it, but some day I forgot the slip on the kitchen table. I had to call my kids at home, therefor they could tell me the pick-up number, otherwise they would not be able to hand out the suit...visiting the dry cleaner’s: routine but not my favorite doing.
In the first weeks here, my weeks of overstimulation, I didn’t even know what dry cleaning is called in English. Good sense told me that here has to be something like that, because the people wear suits and delicate fabrics. I asked Martha, the wife of Nobbi’s former boss. She told me where I could find dry cleaner’s but primarily she told me that it is called Dry Cleaning! Today I laugh about that. Actually I could have found it by myself in the dictionary, but in those days I had to look up everything, and every sign above a shop was new.
I decided to go to “Green Cleaner’s” next to my favorite supermarket.
Behind the desk stood Daniela, she asked friendly for my name and “how are you”. She had a little dog in the shop and it was from the beginning pleasant. To talk with her was different to the common “cashier-customer-talk”. It was refreshing and somehow deep, even if I struggled a lot in English in this time.
As I picked-up my stuff she said: “Hello Barbara, how are you today?” and brought me Nobbi’s suit without looking on any receipt at all. Unbelievable! She knew my name after the first time in the shop; the employee in Aachen didn’t even try this after ten years. And she did not only knew my name she also picked the right suit without a slip of paper.
I was totally fascinated and although I insisted on a receipt the first times, she actually never needed it.
In September, the day my mother died, I had to pick-up pants. Daniela asked: “How are you today, Barbara?” I started crying and said that my mother died today. Daniela came around, hugged me and conveyed comfort. She was the first human being on this day, who embraced me. Nobbi was in Detroit and the kids in school.
This moment in the arms of an in fact foreign woman I will never forget. The pain was deep and her hug so honest...
...more than just dry cleaning.
Months passed, I could tell you little stories and I would if there wouldn’t be a highlight. But there is!
In February I came in the store and couldn’t believe what I’ve seen. It was different, kind of sterile. Behind the desk stood an elder lady. She was sorry that she actually didn’t know how to use this machine, the cash box, and she was very new here and a kind of overcharged and so sorry that everything is going so slow. I asked for Daniela. She answered; she’s not working here anymore!
OH MY GOSH!!!
Drop-off pants became a torture, pick-up pants turned to an adventure: Get I really the pants I dropped-off? Yes, I did, but in slow motion with lots of excuses and the machine is already a miracle for the lady behind the desk. Every time I checked out I promised myself to look for a new dry cleaning.
WHERE IS Daniela? I missed her, not only because I never needed a receipt or because she was competent and fast. I missed our conversation. I asked myself what happened? Why is she gone?
First Tim, my beloved pool guy, then Daniela, my beloved Dry Cleaning Wonder Woman! It’s so unstable here.
In June I sent my son Jonathan to Green Cleaner’s and I jumped in a hurry in the supermarket. We met with our prey in front of the supermarket and ran into Daniela. She was sent by heaven! We were both pretty happy and hugged us, screaming “good to see you!!!” I told her that dry cleaning is not fun anymore since she is gone and she was happy to hear this. She asked very careful if she could give me her card. Maybe I’m interested, she has now her own business.
Sure I was!
Verdana Cleaning, pick-up and delivery
Thank you for the flowers, they are so beautiful!
She picks-up the stuff at home and brings it back again.
In the meantime I know Daniela’s story, interesting but sad and tragically. It’s not by me to tell you that, just my part with her I can and I want tell you.
Yesterday we sat one hour just talking. It should be only minutes.
I, the spoiled she-Expat, realized yesterday once again how fine our doing is. There are people they have to fight every day just to live. This country misses a proper social net.
If you can’t find a job because you are too old or you don’t have necessary computer skills, you need to have a very good idea.
The idea is good. Every beginning is difficult! Pick-up and delivery! She drives far. If there is anybody of you between Los Altos and Los Gatos, or beyond in San Jose, who has pants, shirts or jackets to clean, please e-mail me. I would like to send you Daniela’s number. She actually drives to Boulder Creek.
She took her fortune in her own hands. I admire that. But she only said:
„Barbara, I had no choice, I must live!“
8/2/2012
I am gone…
The Second Year is Over
7/31/2010, San Francisco International Airport, in the evening
Lufthansa flight LH 458 from Munich is at the gate. Travellers, vacationists as well as businessmen leave the plane. (There are much more vacationists, they really applauded after landing) The stewardesses stand at the exits and say good-bye to the flight guests. One says to me: “Have a good time!”
I’m just smiling. My heart beats!
Immigration procedure with thorough first check of our visa, 40 finger prints (what a luck, Jonathan is still too young), 5 photo shoots, secondary inspection due to two potential terrorists without permission to work (Samuel and Moritz are checked intensely and are deeply suggested that they are not allowed to work) and then, finally, the reunion with the dogs in customs area.
Welcome in the USA!
That was exactly two years ago.
Already two years? Only two years!
It feels like an eternity. After I finally don’t wonder every day about the country I live in and also about the people who live in this country, after I take so much as a matter of course, even become friend with it and start loving it, after all this the beginning of the story seems to be far far away.
Sure I could praise the beauty of California, I did already and not only once, or I could tell the story of our first days here, I could tell you about Aachen or I could write a funny story about a she-expat in the wild west. Whatever, I could so much, but I don’t do it.
...Somewhere, with all my longing
Nobbi, Happy „Two Years USA“!